My decision to have a home birth for my breech twins is a conversation in and of itself for which I’ll write a post soon. In short, my doctor, a man who is known for having delivered the most vaginal twin births in this part of the city told me: “there is NO WAY you will be able to deliver these twins without an epidural”.

Being who I am, I told him “maybe you can’t deliver these babies, or any babies for that matter, without an epidural, but I surely can…”

“Ain’t no wrath like a woman scorned” Well, more like: “Ain’t no strength like when a baby is born”.


I went to bed that night thinking “everything is finally perfect for them to come right now”. I had been speaking to them for the last month asking them to please not come yet because my midwife, T had not returned from Jamaica. But, by this Saturday night, she had already returned, the guests were gone, the house was clean, and we were all alone—my husband, me and my two little neshamas (souls).

I quietly whispered to them “Ok. You can come out now. I’m ready”.

I popped my headphones in and listened to my HypnoBirthing® meditations like I had many nights before, letting Mickey Mongan quietly lead me into a deep blue colored cloud of sleep.

Colorful seaside beach sunrise with distant mountains

Surges or Waves are the HypnoBirthing alternative to contractions


And then I heard it. It was around 4am when I heard a pop and a gush. Now, I know all of the books say that when your water breaks it’s not like in the movies. You don’t suddenly turn into a fire hydrant let loose on summer’s day. But, that was not my experience.

I managed to slip and slide myself to the bathroom only to realize that the gushing wasn’t stopping. The entire floor was soaked. “Oh my G-d” I thought, “I’m actually going to have these babies”. At some point around 38 weeks I had decided that surely I would stay pregnant forever. Yet, here I was standing in my own amniotic fluid, trying desperately not to fall.

And then I remembered. My midwife had told me that I could have a glass of wine when labor started just to make sure it was actual labor and not pre-labor warm ups.

Don’t get me wrong I was certainly excited about the arrival of my little bubeles but I was equally excited at breaking my 10 long months of abstinence on a tall glass of Shiloh Shor Cabernet Sauvignon 2007. Yum.

Boy did i enjoy that glass of wine

Boy did i enjoy that glass of wine

I drank my glass of fine red wine, texted my midwives and went back to bed. No surges yet. Nothing happening.

At 7 am I started to feel something but was sure it couldn’t be surges. I practiced my HypnoBirthing® surge breathing just to get the practice although I figured no way could this be “it”.

I had let my husband, Y, sleep but his alarm had just gone off. He woke up, took one look at the towels all over the floor and said “It’s happening!!”

We decided to take the ‘hugs before drugs’ approach and cozy up letting my natural oxytocin do its job.

At about 9 am Y decided to make us eggs. Bless his heart, he probably had no idea that birthing women are VERY sensitive to smell. He burnt the eggs filling our apartment with yucky smoke causing me to frantically open all the windows.

Suddenly, I felt the need to concentrate more on my breathing. Hm, maybe something really was happening.

I called my husband in and told him we should call the doula. His face looked frightened as he dropped the eggs and reached for his phone. I needed to concentrate during the waves but was speaking clearly and calmly in between.

Was a nice gesture but really, eew

Was a nice gesture but really, eew

The doula was on the way. I called my midwives. When I spoke to T, she asked me if I had been measuring my surges. Huh? What a genius, I hadn’t thought about that.

I told her really there wasn’t a need to time them yet because I was sure I was only in the beginning, likely another 36 hours to go. I had been telling myself all along to keep a relaxed attitude about time; most first births are quite long. One of my favorite HypnoBirthing ® meditations was that every hour would feel like 5 minutes.

She said “Measure them now!” I suppose I wasn’t being the most cooperative.

I hung up the phone and Y began timing. Strange, we must be doing this wrong.

We called back T to tell her we think we aren’t using the timing app correctly because for some reason it keeps saying I’m having surges every 3 to 4 minutes and well, I was feeling fine.

“I’m on my way” she said. Yet still I wondered, ‘what’s the big rush?’

My doula and my three midwives were on their way. The team was assembling.

My other midwife D, arrived first.

I apologized to her profusely for dragging her out for really nothing. I had been concentrating on my rose visualization and really wasn’t feeling what I thought surges ought to feel like.

Suddenly, I felt an urge to vomit and I reached for the trash can.

Both D and I were a bit perplexed. I had learned in doula class that throwing up is usually a sign of transition. Surely there must be a mistake. Labor had just started.

Candles were lit. A scent of lavender filled the bedroom. Where it began it would begin again. I got on my bed polar bear position and by Mickey’s sixth word I had already taken my babies and drifted to a place far far away.

The CD began: “And now, it’s time to relax”…
[To Be Continued]

Fetus Energy

Birth Tripping